Sometimes life just plain bites. It appears as if my career as a Private Investigator may be over before it even begins – The person who hired me seems to have disappearedand I have no real idea what this means. All I DO know is that it’s not good. So where am I? No business and now no job. That bites. Time will tell I suppose. I mean, something has to happen, right? Be it a job, a career or living under a bridge. I just hate being screwed around with. Toyed with. Life was going to be really, really good and now I just don’t know. It’s rather disheartening and more than a bit embarrassing.

Such is life.

The latest rumor is that Logan Lerman, the actor who portrays Percy Jackson in the new film, will be playing Spider-Man in the Sony re-boot of the franchise. Which would be cool. He looks a lot more like the Spider-Man from the comic books than Tobey Maguire ever did.

… I’m trying to be positive here. I’m trying really hard. Negativity doesn’t do anyone any good. Sad thing is that I don’t feel like much of an artist these days. I don’t feel like a much of anything. Everything I draw looks amateurish and just plain bad. Which is not good.

Opps. Positive.

Onward.

I am, professionally, a Private Investigator. This is how I earn a living. I know this sounds odd coming from a cartoonist like myself. Especially from someone with a propensity for being sarcastic and twisting the truth of a story to make it more entertaining for the listener. The pay is good (Far, far better than anything I’ve ever earned before and more than I’ve ever earned with my artwork.) and the hours are flexible and most of my work is done from my home. As much as I’d love to envision myself a modern-day Bogart dressed in wing-tipped shoes and a fedora, being a private investigator these days is more about computers than guns. The majority of my work consists of finding people. No divorces and no industrial espionage and no dark night gun-play. I sit at my computer, coffee near-by and dig and search and track down people until I find them. It’s a good way to make a living and it’s a good living to make. It’s fun. Like a game. It’s enjoyable and I can console myself knowing that I’m doing just a little bit of good in a very bad world.

What does all of this mean art-wise? I’m not sure. What does it mean when I can make more money in a week as a Professional Investigator than I can in a year or more creating artwork. Basically it means this; No more free work or spec work and it means that most of my time has to be focused on the real world rather than fantasy worlds.

I’ve spent a good deal of my life wrapped up inside my own head creating worlds and life while ignoring the outside world. Ignoring the real world. I did it because I enjoyed it. A lot. I wouldn’t have spent my life doing it if I didn’t. But eventually the real world came calling and I had to answer. There is only so long a person can live as a starving artist before they actually start starving. At twenty it’s cool. At forty it can be pathetic. Even to the artist himself. (Or herself.)

Life is fun and it’s exciting and it’s new and different and that’s a good thing. Heck! Sherlock Holmes has always been one of my favorite fictional characters. I’ve always loved reading about Private Investigators. I suppose it’s not really so far fetched that I’d end up becoming one.

I haven’t posted here for a while because things have been changing fast. My entire life has been turned upside down and not in a bad way this time. Actually, I never like to post when things are going really bad – apparently I feel this way when things are going really good either.

After eight years of hard work and struggle I finally had to close the business I own. This makes something like the third business I had to shut down. Comics, web design and now movies. LOL I seem to destroy and industry I take part in. Maybe I should open a food kitchen or a homeless shelter? I could even see about ending bigotry and racism. Think of the good I could do.

It looks like my new profession is in the crime fighting arena. Cartoonist and crime fighter. Sounds like I’m making things up, doesn’t it? Who knows? Maybe I can create a book using my true life stories? That might be cool. Or not. Not sure yet.

Let’s see what today brings. Should be fun.

I’m coming to suspect that there are some things in life I need to just let go of. Answers I’ll never get, things I’ll never know or understand. Secrets I’ll never be privy to. There is so much that I need to do and so much more that I want to do and getting lost in that wonderland of the unknown and unknowable it leaving me exhausted and not accomplishing anything.

What am I talking about? What does all of this mean? Well, nothing really. Just “my normal” train wreck of thought. I’ve simply got to find the energy to move forward, make changes and “do”.

I haven’t seen the movie “Avatar” and missed a few chances to see the new Sherlock Holmes film. One I really want to see and the other not so much. I’m sure there are a lot of really fine films that for some reason I have no desire to see. I’m not sure why? Maybe it’s my ADD? Just the idea of sitting still for two hours drives me crazy. It takes something near (in my mind) perfect to capture me in mid-stride and hold me. Mesmerize me long enough to actually get into a story and really “watch”.

This has got to change.

Above is the completed commission piece I’ve been working on. The characters are from an upcoming novel. A book which I can’t really tell you anything about at this time. Rest assured. When I can, I will and I’ll tell you where you can get your copy. You’ll be pleased. I was lucky enough to snag myself a peek and the book looks fantastic.

Please don’t copy or re-post the above artwork anywhere. The artwork and characters do not belong to me and the above is posted with permission.