It's not my fault I'm crazy.

Mike Grell and me.

When it comes to creating I must confess to being a little bit psychotic. Maybe more than just a little bit. I blame Mike Grell. I blame the Legion of Superheroes. They are the reason I'm so screwed up. Seriously. I loved that book while Grell was drawing it. I loved it so much that it totally twisted me and my artwork. I loved the way he drew. The energy. I loved the unending number of characters that would show up, disappear and reappear. I loved that characters actually died and stayed dead. I love that characters would fall in and out of love. They were conceited, jealous, heroic and cowardly. They were dark and light and serious and funny. I was ten and they were all beautiful and sexy and far more real to me than any character I'd ever seen before. The world they lived in was perfect and anything could happen.

The Legion of Superheroes had a hundred different characters, a thousand different worlds and an infinite reality. Ever since I first saw those books, I've had a million different ideas, characters and concepts running around my head all battling to be noticed. I could never hope to create them all. To bring them all "to life". I couldn't even hope to bring a small percentage of what lived inside my head to the outside world and I could never hope to thrill myself with my work like he did me with his. I've spent my life trying, failing and trying again. My mind always a mile and a half ahead of my pencil. One idea overtaking another. Ideas stumbling over one another, each trying to be seen and heard. I needed to be more prolific. I needed ten sets of hands and a million bucks. I didn't have any of this but my deficiencies never came in the way of my attempting the impossible. Truthfully, I cannot even imagine what a headache I was to my brother Ken when I first started working on Five Star Comics with him when we were small. Much less than ten. Ken might just be the polar opposite to me when it comes to psychotic creating. He was peaceful, creating like a smooth, never ending wave of coherent ideas. He created the Five Star Universe and populated it with cool characters while I ran willy-nilly creating half-projects with half-ideas before running over and starting something completely different and new. To be honest, I think I unintentionally stripped Ken of his love of creating, helping me constantly stay focus as he was forced to do. One of the many downfalls of being the older brother, I suppose. Ken would finish the work I'd begin. Ken would do the heavy lifting while I fluttered about mindlessly. I made what was easy difficult. I made what was fun and job and it's all Mike Grell's fault.

Darn it all and "Opps!".

I am sorry to report that I haven't gotten better as I've gotten older. The fact that I have ever produced a complete story, that I've ever created even a remotely coherent concept or character, is all due to Ken and the never-ending amount of time and labour he's put in over the years. My creativity trampled Ken's. I didn't mean to do it, I just did. It just happened. I was a kid and I'll always be the younger brother looking to Ken to help me and make my work somehow "right".

I couldn't help myself and didn't know I was doing it. It was (and is still) like a compulsion to create. A drug. I have dozens and dozens of notebooks, sketchbooks and filing cabinets filled with drawings, notes, ideas and stories. A thousand story ideas, a thousand characters and ideas. All waiting like expectant children looking for freedom from the cage I've built for them.

I'm an artist. God help me.



This is what did it. This was the work that changed the direction of my life and my art. It may not look like a whole lot to you so many years later but to me, when I was ten years old, it represented everything I wanted to create. I have to wonder if it still does? Do I struggle to create the same feeling inside myself, with my own work, that I felt when I first saw this?

Here's the secret: To all those who wonder who my influences are (were). To all those who wonder what other artists my work resembles. This is it! If you can't see it, keep looking. It's there somewhere. I couldn't get rid of it if I tried. Many other creators influenced my work but none like Grell. Like I said, I was ten and nothing is ever as powerful, as wonderful and as fantastic as when you're ten years old. It's a powerful time in our lives. The next time you're speaking with a child, it might be good to remember this. They're blank pages and you're drawing on them. Make beautiful pictures.

Can you see the influence?



Keep looking. Trust me. It's there.