Wisdom gift.

We live in a world filled with fallen dreams and vanishing hope. Everywhere I look I see dissatisfaction and broken hearts. I see people walking through life in a dazed and confused state of despair. As children we are told that we can do anything we want. We can be anyone we desire to be. We are told that all things are possible and we are taught the beauty of dreams. As we grow older we discover that those dreams we are encouraged to pursue and those hopes we are told to live for don't exist. Our dreams die and they rarely die an easy death. We spend years mourning what never was and, truthfully, never could be. We were fed candy. Empty calories that left us fat and lethargic. It's not that we failed or that we weren't good enough. It's not really about us at all. It's our parents fault. They were the ones who filled us with unrealistic expectations and gave us a false sense of our own greatness. While we were young our parents told us that we were special and that we mattered. We were told that life was ours for the taking and we could be anything. What they should have told us is that we were nothing more than worthless ants, living lives meant to be stepped upon and crushed. They should have told us not to bother dreaming or hoping or wishing. They should have told us what loser twits we really are not filled our heads with foolish fantasies. Thanks mom! Thanks dad! Hope yer happy.

So, now that I've dropped the bomb and let you peek behind life's curtain, I suppose you're expecting me to tell you were the pot-of-gold is buried. We is the wisdom, Oh wise one, you think and wonder because that's what your parents taught you to do and you don't know any better. Luckily for you (and your children), I'm here to break your bubble and show you the real world we live in. Because of my massively big brain, I am honor bound to spread the word and pass along the secrets of life, the universe and all that crap. You rationally look to me because I'm on the Internet where all truth and wisdom lay. I am a genius and most likely smarter than you and you need me although you may have never known it. I am that which your soul has searched. Congratulations. You've found where you need to be. I will provide you with what you need to find true joy and hope in this life. I will give this gift to you so that you might pass it along and together, perhaps, we might change this world and leave it a much, much better place. I'm not talking a little better, I'm talking big honking better.

Low expectations. These are the two words you must learn to live by. Do not tell your children that they can be doctors, lawyers or artists. This only serves to set them up to live empty, unfulfilled lives of crushed dreams and unachievable hopes. Instead encourage them to apply for welfare. Teach them the positives of being a part-time alcoholic fast food worker. Set the bar as low as possible and then lower it some more. The lower you set the bar for yourself and those you care for the more likely they are to reach those teeny-tiny goals.

Low expectations. Teeny-tiny goals. Teeny-weeny, iddy-biddy dreams. Itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, iddy-biddy hopes. These will become your new mantras and they will lead you ... well ... nowhere, but you weren't going anywhere anyway but at least you'll be happier once you reach where you never left and stopped dreaming of being where you'll never be. Those sun-dappled hills of warmth and glory don't exist. Not for you. The cold and rain and the never-ending shadows willed with moving fear are the gift given to you. Take it. Hold it and stop dreaming of anything better because you'll never get it.

Tell your children and I guarantee you'll see their little faces fall and their smiles turn to wide-eyed looks of terror and despair. In their sweet little broken hearts you will see the results of this wisdom passed on to you and then to them. They will live lives without the failed dreams and lost hopes simply because they never had them. No hopes and no dreams will lead to lives filled with no disappointment.

Spread the word and let the good news ring around the globe. Life sucks. Deal with it.

Make yourself a T-shirt and send me your money. You'll be glad you did and you DO sorta' owe me since I've bestowed all this wisdom and uber-smartness on you and all. You've got the money. I know you do. So send it to me. Put back the lottery tickets, you're not gonna' win anyway and send me that money. Or spend it on alcohol and cigarettes. That at least wold make sense.

Let the celebrations begin.

...

Okay. Now about me:

I've had a pretty great weekend slash week. I've been productive and I've not cut off a finger or gotten maimed in a farming accident. These are good things. Basically, I'm screwed but I seem to be just dandy with it, so all is good(ish).

Now I shall dance and sing joyful songs. Or maybe get some coffee. I've not decided yet.

Happy days. Have some.

...

I finished the second season of "Primeval". Not bad. Good actually. It was only seven episodes (The first season was six episodes. How the Brits deal with these short seasons is beyond me.) but they were good episodes, the story moved and the characters progressed (or regressed). I particularly liked the character of Connor. There's just something about the misunderstood uber geek that appeals to me. (Identify with.)