Easy way.

I watched the first seven episodes of the television program "Level 9" last night. Since it only lasted thirteen episodes, that's a major chunk of the show. It originally aired in 2000 so I'm a little late in getting around to see it. As I often am when it comes to watching TV. It's not bad. It's even maybe pretty good. I would have preferred the show to be less about cop-show adventure and more about computer hacking seeing as the show is about computer hackers. I'd also have preferred to see more hackers and to have the hackers look more like hackers and less like your standard TV characters. My rating? Does it matter. The thing was cancelled eight years ago!

Tomorrow is Halloween. That one day of the year when unbridled evil is set loose on our ever-expecting world. The day when darkness rules the land and Satan's minions make mischief. Wait. That's next Tuesday. Halloween is the day kids eat candy until they get sick and I buy candy to hand out to the little beggars until I get sick. Tomorrow: Candy. Next Tuesday: Rampant evil. Got it.

I think it would be kinda' cool to get to dress up in a costume but I've not really any place to go except look at myself in the mirror and feel really lame. Besides, I'm kinda' a character already. Dressing up as one would be a bit redundant.

...

I wonder what it would be like to the best at what you do. What would it feel like to be the best at something. Is this even possible? Or is "the best" far too objective a term for anyone to truthfully claim the title?

It always seems to me that no matter what I do, or how well I believe I do it, there is always someone else doing it better. Why then even try? Wouldn't it be better to just eat some pizza and take a nap? So often the things we do can be so difficult for us to accomplish and yet seem so easy for others. Is this really all we can hope for? Second best at best and terribly difficult to boot. Does anyone ever actually do "the best" and do it easily? Or is this just a self-involved, self-pitying, ready-made excuse for us to just give up and not even try?

It seems as though my life is difficult. Very, very difficult. It seems as though I have suffered through more than my share of misfortune and agony. I say "seems" because I'm not sure. Perhaps my life has really been quite easy. Certainly it would be easy to point out a life filled with more tragedy and strife. Does simply the fact that there are others who have suffered far more negate my own suffering? Should it or should it not? Is the ease or difficulty of our lives to be judged upon perception? If this were to be true, could the proper "faith" make even the most difficult life feel blessed to the one living it? Can this proper mind-set provide joy and happiness in the midst of turmoil and pain? Can I achieve this soul-balance? Do I have it in me? Achieving this balance, this mind-set? This kind of faith is what I mean when I refer to becoming "Zen".

Of mind, body and spirit, it is the spirit that is the most important of all. It is the spirit that strengthens or weakens the mind and body. It is the spirit that overtakes both the mind and body as they grow old and begin to fade. It is the spirit that is eternal and so it is the spirit which should receive the majority of our attention and concern. Far better to have a strong spirit and weak body or mind than a powerful mind and body but a weak spirit. It is the spirit that has the ability to rise and fly. It is the spirit we will take with us when this life ends. The spirit we take and those we touch are the treasures we should gather and hold close.

In many Eastern religions there is a strong emphasis on strengthening the spirit and becoming more "God-like" in ourselves. There is the belief that man, while on Earth, might attain some portion of his eternal self and live even now in the truth of his own eternity. Wouldn't it be truthful to state that we are even now living out the eternity God promises? After all, eternity means forever and now is a part of forever.

Deaf and blind, my body numb, I make my way through this lifetime. Must I? Is there no way to break loose from the dark?

Whatever.

...

I weigh 155. Holy Moly! That means that I've put on 15 pounds over the past year. I need to be really careful and start keeping a better eye on what I eat and how much. I worked hard for years to lose about 125 pounds and the last thing I need is to put it back on. I could do it too. I've got it in me. I may have subdued my inner glutton but I didn't kill it.



Note to self: Watch it!

Tonight I'm gonna' go home and sleep. Watch some "Monk", read some and sleep some more. Then I might take a nap. Wake up, have some coffee and then sleep some more. That's the plan - Sleep, salad, coffee, book, nap, nap, sleep and then get some rest.

Am I tired or just plain lazy? Hummm?