Suck it up.

I'm finding that all my "computer problems" are really putting a crimp in, well just about everything. Suddenly nothing seems easy. So much has apparently disappeared. Not just artwork, those I'll find again, but sites and programing. So many updates were done since the last time a backup was made. Opps. This along with some hacking done to a site of mine has pretty much slammed a couple of things to the mat and I'll have to basically "start from scratch". I want to FINNISH things, not start over.

Whatever.

Anyway. I've got a script that I HAVE to read tonight and I'll need to put my mind in a place to give it ... something. I have to make a decision soon and right now, with things being so wonky, I don't know if I'll make the right one. Decision that is. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I'll make the wrong one. Such is life.

I've got so much to do, so much going on, so much so much and I just want some peace. And a nap. Maybe some chicken and potato salad but definitely some sleep. Or peace. Or whatever. Maybe if I knew, I'd feel more ... Hummm ... peaceful. Or something.

The books I'm reading are okay. The movies I'm watching are okay. Everything is okay, I guess. I must want more than just okay. I want to be stimulated, excited, involved and passionate. I'm not. Not right now.

I wonder ...

*No. I'm not depressed. Just tad bit exhausted.

Okay. Let's switch gears here and let all the talk of what's stressing me go for a bit. I'm sure I'll be able to catch up with them again later.

Right now things are sort of going a little bit possibly FANTASTIC for me right now. I have so many "pans in the fire" and great/cool/neato-keen things going on right now that it makes my head spin. So much seems to be happening, going on, that it's been taking all of my energy just to keep up with it all. Which is probably the reason for my stress. If things weren't going as well as they are, I'd probably be much more at peace. I'd be dreaming of far-away things and endless possibilities. Now that so many of these "possibilities" have become "probabilities" my stress level has gone through the roof. It is so much easier to dream than do. Dreams are perfect, reality can be sort of messy. Nothing is ever as perfect and smooth as you dream it will be. The truth of reality is a struggle and compromise and ... well ... a whole lotta' freakin' work! I'm an artist fer' goodness sake! I don't "work". I "play"! Now I gotta' find a way to make work look like, and Heaven forbid FEEL like, play. Something I'm not so good at. (Apparently.)

I'm not just talking art and writing and web sites and such. I'm talking everything and this ... this ... turmoil(?), this ... progress (?) .. this something is placing me into new territory. Territory I'm unfamiliar with. It all makes me tired. And needing potato salad. I swear to you potato salad would really help me right now. I'll not get any, that's how I know it would help.

Life is good. Suck it up.